Some thoughts..its been while.

I have been thinking of posting an update for a while now, and now looking back I think its time considering the last update was in 2011! Iman is 10 now and growing into a young lady and Deen is almost 8 now and evolving as well. Looking back, I noticed that I had set some goals for myself, all of which I am happy to realize, have been accomplished. Going to the gym 3-4 times a week, have made amazing new friends and try not to miss an opportunity to spend time with them. Although hubby and I are not able to make plans often, at least we share an annual or maybe even twice year vacation as a family and try to make time for each other on a daily basis. In addition, I have embraced biking as a new pass time, improved my credit and have grown spiritually.

Times are so different now, compared to the last time I blogged. Terrorism has reached new heights of insanity, and a mad man is running for the presidency. I am having to explain things to my children that my parents never had to explain to me; for example, "Mommy, why to people hate muslims?" I have to explain that there are some really bad people out there that pretend to be muslims and that their actions have nothing to do with Islam, instead they use Islam and distort its teachings to do harm. Thankfully, people that know anything about Islam, in truth, know that terrorists and muslims are not the same thing. My parents never had to explain what "Black Lives Matter," means. I have to explain to them that not all police officers are good, which is hard for them to understand. That there are racist people in this world and no one should have the power to take anyone's life, even if they do wear an officer's uniform. I have to explain that "Black Lives Matter," is a movement to bring attention to lives lost for no reason, or lives lost for "being black." I know (InshAllah), that my son will one day grow up to be a man and that if this world continues to be anything like it is today, he needs to watch his back when walking around the neighborhood at night, wearing a hoodie, as he is man of color. He may have to think twice before reading the Quran on a plane or even growing a beard. Sadly, unless the mentality of law enforcement and what the media portrays to be "dangerous," drastically changes, this will be the reality, as it is today. What really stuns me is when I see things posts on Facebook, articles, comments and such that so casually, stream hate. Unlike the "real world," in the virtual world, you can hide behind your profile pic or less even. At first, I was really surprised to see such hatred towards muslims on the internet, I really had no idea that there was an "us" and an "American," as I have always thought myself to be part of the "us," as I am American. Born and raised in Texas, I admit, I was taught that I am different than a Christian, jew, hindu, because I practice a different religion, adhere to different religious guidelines but I was never taught that I was not an American, that there was an "us" and a "them." I grew up with American culture, while being aware of my religious boundaries. I was part of a sorority, I had female and male friends, I made mistakes like any other teenager, I traveled, I drove.. and none of these things are against Islam. I had a fairly normal, AMERICAN, upbringing. So seeing statements like "Get them out of our country," and "they are all dangerous, send them back to where they came from," shocks me. This IS my country, and I am from AMERICA! I am first generation, much like many people I know. The level of ignorance should not surprise me as most comments like these are made by the less educated or by people who have never met or interacted with a muslim, ever; yet it does. In any case, I thought I would use this platform to vent a little. Will try to blog more often, in the meantime, in case I don't, I want to set some goals to look back on.... 1. Utilize more downtime for myself. Sometimes I feel as though I am running 100 miles an hour, between bed making, cooking, cleaning, preparing, working, exercising... I need to relax and take a breath more often. 2. Continue to bike and exercise and learn how to swim! 3. Get PMP certified to further my career. 4. Continue to strive to become a better wife, mother, and daughter. I want to continue to have an "open door," policy for my kids or anyone close to me. I am so glad that I feel my kids can talk to me about anything and I want that comfort level to always be there. 5. Continue to grow spiritually. Thanks for reading...till next time. :)

Its been a while

So the last time I updated my blog was Sept. 2008, since then so much has happened, I am really bad and at times reluctant to keep this thing updated, however, as per baby sis's request, I am writing an entry.

Deen is now 3 and Iman will be 6 in Feb, Inshallah, so I have come a long way from being pregnant and having maternal worries to today. I have been reluctant about updating the blog b/c its sometimes intimidating knowing that a large number of people (assuming so) can and have read this, alas, but I guess that is part of the purpose of having such a thing--to have a large number of followers (but still kinda scares me).

On My Mind:
Anyway, off to Houston on Tuesday, my baby sister is getting married, and the middle one got married in July, and is now expecting. Can't believe so many changes are taking place, our family is morphing every six months it seems, however, we are so blessed that all the changes coming are positive.

Kids:
Iman is becoming more and more mature every day, it seems. I have pretty intellectual conversations with her and her vocabulary and reasoning surprises me at times. I ask her if she has any friends at school, b/c she has started Kindergarten, her response, "I have friends, but not that many friends, I have people I play with but I don't really think of them as friends, but I do have some friends." How intuitive, I thought to myself. As we adults would say, "I know people, but I would not consider them my friends, however, I do have friends," sometimes it scares me how smart and logical she can be, would I have ever said anything like that at her age, probably not, everyone in my class was my "friend" not distinguishable of the status of our relationship. Iman is funny.

Deen on the other hand, is smart and very clever is own way, he picks up so much. I feel he has an instinct to protect his Mommy. He cries if I ever get hurt--one time I cut myself with a knife while cooking, when is saw blood he immediately got a band aid and had tears in his eyes. That might not make him exceptional, but I never really saw that in Iman, instinct to protect mom, that is. He is still so little to me, I also, find myself worrying if he is okay (when he is not with me), when he is with the nanny or anywhere else. I feel that Iman is tougher in many ways, but that could just relate to the age difference.

I have noticed as time has progressed my husband and I have treated Iman as if she was older than her age (my husband disagrees). It may be b/c of her advance vocabulary or just b/c she is the first born. It kinda correlates to how the first born instinctually have more sense of responsibility and (in the cases I have seen), b/c they are held responsible for their actions and choices from the beginning, compared to the middle or youngest child, this is just my observation.

Me:
Between commuting to The City every day for work, working full-time, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the family, I rarely have any time for myself. I have forced myself (not without guilt) of eating out with friend(s) after work twice month, just so I have relationships with people outside family. I used to go to the gym and even do yoga, but I have completely stopped that, and I get about 40 minutes before bed to watch my favorite soap, besides that there is no time.

New Year’s Resolutions--
1. Go to the gym at least twice a week
2. Continue to make time with friends twice a month
3. Instead of balancing housework and kids after I come home from work, focus on kids, housework will always be there, it’s never ending.
4. Make plans with Hubby that actually pan out
There you go Aisha--you will have to wait a couple of months for the next entry.
:0)

Change is coming.

Well, if you solely read my blog and steer clear of anything else on my FB page, then this will be news to you..I am 8 months preggers and about to give birth to a baby boy in about 5 weeks. Yes, yes, I believe in a previous blog post I stated that I wasn't sure now was the right time to expand our family, but the excitement of having a little baby in the house again was too overwhelming.

Although I was excited when I was pregnant with Iman, I felt more worried than anything. Worried about the delivery, worried if I would be a good mother, worried about all the stories I had heard about "lack of sleep" and "baby gas" and "loosing yourself", worried about the unknown. However, I am sooo incredibly excited about this pregnancy its crazy. Now I know what to expect, and how to deal with stuff. This time around I will be on my own, compared to the last time when I had my mother in law, sister in law and brother in law at my disposal. Well, I won't be completely on my own, my little (she is 22, but I still think of her as little) sister is coming from Texas to help me out for 2 months, and thank God for that. The hubby has to work out of town (as in another state) four days a week, so I am soo glad she will be flying up here to help out, I don't know what I would do without her.

As for Iman, she knows that she will have a baby brother soon and she likes to feel my belly move, but I don't think "it" will hit her until the new baby actually arrives. I am really interested to see how she will react. I am planning to make a "big sister" package for her, which will include a baby doll and stroller, a "I am a big sister t-shirt" and "I am a big sister" book, which a co-worker recommended. I really don't want her to feel left out and I plan to include her on most if not all of the baby activities. I am sure she will be a great big sis, if we approach the idea in a friendly and inclusive way, inshallah.

As for me, this pregnancy has been super hard. Although I have not gained an overwhelming amount of weight I am significantly heavier this time around. I stopped working out at 7 months, but I was only going to the gym twice a week anyway versus four times a week when I was preggers with Iman. I am seeing a massage physical therapist to help me cope with the lower back pain. Daily functions, especially sleeping, relaxing on the couch, commuting to work and even standing for longer than one minute, are difficult. I hope the delivery and recovery are a lot easier this time around, inshallah.

Ramadan has been difficult as well, although I am not fasting, due to the pregnancy, it has been really hard on the hubby considering he is living in a hotel room four days a week, driving long distances and juggling work at the same time. It is doubtful that he will be here on Eid, which really disappoints me. Of course, it is not his fault, but Eid only comes twice a year and now that Iman can express her feelings, I really want her to know what Eid is and the importance of the family being together, not to mention that I will really miss him. I really hope he can make it home.

What else? I guess all I can really talk about is the new baby, I can't wait to see him, and hold him and smell his "fresh baby smell". Still have to do a little shopping for the little guy, the baby shower in Houston really helped out. At this time, I know 9 girlfriends who are expecting, I wish them healthy pregnancies, healthy babies and easy recoveries, and I always keep them in my prayers (you know who you are...heeehee).

Oh yeah, I turned 30 in August, which is crazy, Its so hard to believe that I graduated (undergrad) more than 8 years ago! Although marriage, responsibility, having a child ,finances, finishing graduate school, work, and the list goes on and on, have developed in life, In my mind I still feel as if I am that 21 year old girl, taking classes and working. I guess, if I keep thinking young, I will still feel young and vibrant and full of energy, the only difference will be where that energy will be gearing toward...my growing family and continually discovering myself (cheesy but true).

Where to start?

Well, its been a while since I've blogged, but that is usually the case when I write. New York is in the middle of winter while the rest of the country is preparing for spring, or actually experiencing it, like my family in Houston. It sucks, but it gives me more reason to make the trip back to Texas.

I will be attending a wedding while in Houston, a good college friend of mine is getting married, nice to see that people are moving on with their lives. I am so eager to see other people that I love move on as well, but as we all know marriage can be scary and is a huge decision and cannot be rushed, and somehow, rishtha aunties seem to forget that these days.

Anyway.....

I was at Starbucks the other day, getting my honey latte, which is great, by the way, while this woman with twin girls, around the age of one and another four year old girl (her daughters), was waiting with a double stroller for her coffee. Anyway, she stormed out after a while and came then started yelling from the door to speak to a manager. She said she had been waiting for 15 minutes with her 3 children in their coats and was still not able to get the drink she ordered. The manager asked her to come in ranting and raving, and one of her babies was continuously crying. I thought to myself: why is your coffee so important. Obviously your children are uncomfortable, one is really upset, you are in a rush to get somewhere, and you HAVE to have your coffee. I don't understand why people can't let things go for the sake of their kids. I know it must be hard with three, more reason to let the little things go and focus on what needs to be done. There have been many instances in which I want to stay a little after work and shop b/c there a sale at Macy's or get my nails done, but that just means less time with Iman when I get home. I guess that why being a good mom is such big deal, b/c it entails sacrifice and putting your kids first.
Anyway, that whole incident just really irritated me...I had to vent.

What else? Lately I have been craving biryani like crazy, sadly, New York or New Jersey does not have good desi food, at least when compared to Houston. Sometimes I wish I was able to cook more stuff, I am so bored with the same dishes over and over again. My mom always wants to teach me when I go back to Houston, but I seem to never have the time. Karahi gosht and chicken curry are getting old and tired.

Well, this is it for now, promise to write sooner...but I always do.

Samia

Winter is here...

and to my suprise I am kinda enjoying it. I love to wear my high boots, parka, gloves and mittens, but I know that likeness will not last for long...winters here can be very brutal.

I have finally finished my Master's thesis and am finished with school overall, I feel this is a huge chapter that has finally come to a close in my life. I started on my Master's degree when I was 21 years of age, got married, moved, had a baby and finally finshed at the age of 29! I guess I have accomplished a lot in between, not to mention I had to change schools twice, yes, I attended three different graduate schools for the same degree..what a pain, but quite and experience.

Its been a while since I've written, I know, so much as happened since the summer. Iman is talking like crazy, work is going well and I have no complaints. We are headed to Houston next week, so I am really excited about that.

Everyone seems to be asking me "when is the next one coming", although I do want another child, I am so comfortable with the way things are, at this point. My career is only going to move forward, now that I have my masters (inshallah), my body is at its healthiest peak, now that I have returned to the gym on a regular basis, Iman is finally sleeping through the night (most nights anyway) and lots of other stuff. Yes, a baby is a blessing in every way, but just not sure if I am ready for the second one just yet, ah well, its all in Allah's hands, we will see.

I went to Chicago recently, for business, my cousin and I treated ourselves to a spa, and it was great, it was my first time. I've treated myself to a massage here and there, but never actually recieved a treatment at a proper spa. After that experience, I feel all women should treat themselves to a spa at least twice a year, I plan on taking my sis an mom when I go to Houston.

Well, other than that, things are going pretty well, maybe I will have some more interesting material posted after my trip to Houston, but as for now, things are the way they are---which is good.

Love Samia--stay tuned and Happy Holidays!

Summer's End Update.

Soo, I vowed I would make more of an effort to write more often, unfortunetaly it just didn't work out that way, and now summer is coming to an end. I guess I will just have to give you a quick status update.

My family, and two cousins came to visit from Houston, and we really had a blast. I took them to the Empire state building, china town and other touristy places around the city. Then, a week later my three best girlfriends came to stay for four days, that was also soo much fun, I went out to a restaurant after a long time, with out Iman, I mean. They are such fans of "Sex and the City" we even took a dorky picture like the show. What I realized when my family and friends were here is that hosting house guests is a lot of work, but I do enjoy every minute of it..to me its no chore, but a real pleasure. I also realized, hanging out with my friends, that there is humor in everything, and I feel like I have forgotten that as time has passed. I managed to get them lost three, yes three, times, once in the city and twice in Jersey, but I heard no complaints, just laughter at how useless and dorky and how funny the situation was..I love that. They know how to read me and they know the true person I am, and slowly I am going back to the my true self and drift away from the wholly structured and "all rules must apply" self. I love them so much and I truly think of them as my sisters.

Speaking of "getting back to thyself"..I just came back from Houston, where my parents threw me a surprise b-day party..we really had a good time. Just getting away from the hustle and bustle of routine life made such a difference for me. I feel refreshed, energized and well rested. Iman's aunties manage allow me to have a break...especially Aisha Khala! I wish I could go back every month, now that my mom knows my routine she and my dad refuse to let me do anything when I visit, I honestly appreciate and love that about them, although I try not to take advantage.

When I returned home, Iman and I received a warm welcome from the hubby, six days can be a lot for a dad. We indulged in a quiet evening at home and enjoyed each other's company. Sometimes time away is just what a relationship needs to get back to the basics and pleasures of each other..and our separate trips did just that.

What else..today is the first day of the last semester of my graduate career and I can't wait till its over! I am taking one class, only on Wed and working on my thesis, which I have yet to start. School is over Dec. 22nd and then I will finally have my masters..something I've been striving for since the age of 21! Inshallah, I hope and pray I am successful completing this final semester.

On a somber note, a co-worker friend of mine lost her mother a week ago. Her mom's death was so sudden and unexpected and her mom happens to be the same age as mine. As a Muslim sister, all I can really say is that she is in my prayers and blessings, and my God keep her and her family strong during this trying time. I personally, dread that day, the day I loose my mom or my dad. My parents are my best friends in the world..especially my mom. My friend said that she feels a piece of her heart has been separated from her body, a piece of her. I can't imagine the pain and grief she is going through...my mom always says I will have to be strong one when that day comes..but I know I am not strong enough. Instances like this remind us of how we treat out parents and how much time we dedicate to them. We should cherish every phone call (although they might come at annoying times) and cherish all the laughter and joy and moments of tenderness and even anger. My friend says she just seems to wait for her mom to call during her lunch break..something my mom ALWAYS does. The thought of her not being there terrifies me....inshallah, may Allah give all of our parents healthy, happy, long and joyous lives. I love moms!

Alas...

the weekend is coming up. It’s kinda sad how the weekends are our only times to rest and relax, shouldn't we set aside time everyday to just chill? Besides taking about 20 minutes to watch Young and the Restless every night, I do not get a chance to relax at all..ahhh. the life of a working mom. I remember the days when I would come home and dinner would be ready for me, all I had to do was plop down on the couch and eat and watch TV. for about three hours..then, I would talk on the phone for an hour or chat on-line. Now, things are so different and just non-stop...it has its good points and bad points.

Anyway, tomorrow I am hosting a slumber party..ha! Remember those??
The hubby is going to Atlantic City for the night with some of his boys, so I decided to take the opportunity to invite some close girl friends over, cook dinner, and have them spend the night. I am looking forward to the laughs, jokes, and some well over-due bonding. Funny, I thought I'd never meet people whom I could call "true friends" here...but turns out, there are a few cool people on the east coast...haha!

Well, the hubby and I are working on cleaning out the second room we have in our apartment. We used the second room for storage, so it was full of boxes..now we are finally emptying it out..due to my family's visit at the end of July. I didn't realize how much work it would be to take on this task. We are working on it everyday, and hopefully but the end of this weekend we can have it cleared out. Weekends for relaxing??? Hardly!

So, I was talking to and old and dear friend of mine and we were discussing how old we've all grown. How our University (Go Coogs!) has changed so much and no longer does the old library exist, the UC has transformed even further and the whole campus overall seems like a different place. Seems like just yesterday I was meeting my friends for lunch in the Satellite lounge (food from Taco Hell!), or people watching with my best friends at the UC. We used to hang out in the "Underground" a lot as well, that was our place to chilllz. Now, most of us are married, have careers, own condos/houses….and not too long from now, we will be receiving texts or calls from our kids saying that they will be at school late..studying for that Psychology final at the library...6th floor..woohoo!

Can't believe I will be 29 this August! Where has the time gone? Well, all we can do is remember those lazy and fun filled days....and hope that, inshallah, there will be more fun filled and lazy days to come. We all seem to enjoy different joys in life now, our significant others, our children, the warm company of our parents and friends. We look at what’s more practical rather than what’s more trendy. We look to find bargains rather than spend money we don't really have (credit cards..eek), we look towards worshipping our religion as a privilege and a blessing rather than a task or something we "have to do"...ah yes,..times have certainly changed. I am just blessed that the character and personalities of the people in my life have not changed with them. My friends are as goofy and true to themselves as ever, my sisters are just as close as ever and my parents are just as concerned and loving. I love that!